Abraham Lincoln was as frustrated by General George McClellan's unwillingness to move the Union army into action against General Robert E. Lee as us Bulldog basketball fans are vexed at Coach White's inability to organize an efficient offense.
President Lincoln chose to deal with his frustrations by use of wit and humor rather than by threats of dismissal. Their rocky relationship might provide valuable advice as to how all of us ought to approach the next few weeks with patience and humor as we wait to see if our sleeping offense awakens and rouses itself to take aggressive, efficient action.
Lincoln wrote to McClellan after the battle of Antietam to complain that a great opportunity for the destruction of Lee's army was wasted by McClellan's constant complaints that he needed more funds, more soldiers and more training time if his soldiers were to compete with the more aggressive Southerners. Lincoln used these opening words in his letter:
"My dear Sir: You remember my speaking to you of what I called your over-cautiousness. Are you not over-cautious when you assume that you cannot do what the enemy is constantly doing? Should you not claim to be at least his equal in prowess, and act upon the claim?"
Had basketball been invented just prior to the civil war era on the same historical timeline as baseball was dreamt up and played by soldiers in the Union army, I have no doubt that Lincoln would have played hoops and been a big fan. And had he somehow traveled through time to become the boss of Coach Mike White, Lincoln would have employed the same sarcasm and wit that he employed to poke fun at General McClellan in order to goad him into aggressive action.
Here are a few actual quotes made by President Lincoln of McClellan that are applicable to Coach Mike White today. I have merely embellished, updated, and substituted Coach White's name for McClellan's and I have placed Lincoln as the Athletic Director to whom White reports.
--- Upon watching Coach White's offense fail to run designed plays and fail to score a basket in over 12 minutes of play, Lincoln would have emailed White to ask; "Coach, if you do not intend to use your team, may I borrow it?"
-- Upon reflection of how shockingly low we rank nationally in tempo of play, Lincoln would have said, "Coach White has taken ill with a case of the slows. He should be careful that his bad case of the slows does not worsen into a more serious terminal illness."
-- After watching how White kept highly sought after recruits Savo, Abson, and Somto inactive and glued to the bench, Lincoln pointed to the uniformed bench players during a game at the Steg and asked an assistant coach with feigned ignorance, "Who are they?'' The baffled assistant would answer "Why, those are our reserve substitute players." Lincoln replied, "No sir, no! Since they see no action, they are not players. They are Coach White's highly paid bodyguards."
-- Lincoln sat with White and the players for a team photo. Lincoln texted his impatiently waiting wife, "Coach White and team and I are about to be photographed. Won't take long if we can all crowd together and be still. Given the lack of movement in his offense, I feel Coach White and the boys should have no problem. "
-- Lincoln overheard a supporter of White praise the coach for being superbly organized and having the team practice with the smooth precision of a well-oiled machine. Lincoln wryly replied, "White is an admirable engineer. He has a special talent for constructing a stationary engine. "
-- When asked about the unceasing stream of requests from White and Bulldog fan base for more NIL money to attract new and better signees and transfers, Lincoln smiled and observed, "If I gave Coach White all the new players and stacks of NIL cash he asks for, they would run out of space in the locker room and have to dress in the hallway."
***
One final equally apt historical quote. That greatest of Southern novelists, William Faulkner, must surely have been thinking about our long history of frustrating basketball play at UGA when he wrote:
The past is never dead. It's not even past. All of us labor in webs spun long before we were born, webs of heredity and environment, of desire and consequence, of history and eternity. Haunted by wrong turns and roads not taken, we pursue images perceived as new but whose providence dates to the dim dramas of childhood, which are themselves but ripples of consequence echoing down the generations.
President Lincoln chose to deal with his frustrations by use of wit and humor rather than by threats of dismissal. Their rocky relationship might provide valuable advice as to how all of us ought to approach the next few weeks with patience and humor as we wait to see if our sleeping offense awakens and rouses itself to take aggressive, efficient action.
Lincoln wrote to McClellan after the battle of Antietam to complain that a great opportunity for the destruction of Lee's army was wasted by McClellan's constant complaints that he needed more funds, more soldiers and more training time if his soldiers were to compete with the more aggressive Southerners. Lincoln used these opening words in his letter:
"My dear Sir: You remember my speaking to you of what I called your over-cautiousness. Are you not over-cautious when you assume that you cannot do what the enemy is constantly doing? Should you not claim to be at least his equal in prowess, and act upon the claim?"
Had basketball been invented just prior to the civil war era on the same historical timeline as baseball was dreamt up and played by soldiers in the Union army, I have no doubt that Lincoln would have played hoops and been a big fan. And had he somehow traveled through time to become the boss of Coach Mike White, Lincoln would have employed the same sarcasm and wit that he employed to poke fun at General McClellan in order to goad him into aggressive action.
Here are a few actual quotes made by President Lincoln of McClellan that are applicable to Coach Mike White today. I have merely embellished, updated, and substituted Coach White's name for McClellan's and I have placed Lincoln as the Athletic Director to whom White reports.
--- Upon watching Coach White's offense fail to run designed plays and fail to score a basket in over 12 minutes of play, Lincoln would have emailed White to ask; "Coach, if you do not intend to use your team, may I borrow it?"
-- Upon reflection of how shockingly low we rank nationally in tempo of play, Lincoln would have said, "Coach White has taken ill with a case of the slows. He should be careful that his bad case of the slows does not worsen into a more serious terminal illness."
-- After watching how White kept highly sought after recruits Savo, Abson, and Somto inactive and glued to the bench, Lincoln pointed to the uniformed bench players during a game at the Steg and asked an assistant coach with feigned ignorance, "Who are they?'' The baffled assistant would answer "Why, those are our reserve substitute players." Lincoln replied, "No sir, no! Since they see no action, they are not players. They are Coach White's highly paid bodyguards."
-- Lincoln sat with White and the players for a team photo. Lincoln texted his impatiently waiting wife, "Coach White and team and I are about to be photographed. Won't take long if we can all crowd together and be still. Given the lack of movement in his offense, I feel Coach White and the boys should have no problem. "
-- Lincoln overheard a supporter of White praise the coach for being superbly organized and having the team practice with the smooth precision of a well-oiled machine. Lincoln wryly replied, "White is an admirable engineer. He has a special talent for constructing a stationary engine. "
-- When asked about the unceasing stream of requests from White and Bulldog fan base for more NIL money to attract new and better signees and transfers, Lincoln smiled and observed, "If I gave Coach White all the new players and stacks of NIL cash he asks for, they would run out of space in the locker room and have to dress in the hallway."
***
One final equally apt historical quote. That greatest of Southern novelists, William Faulkner, must surely have been thinking about our long history of frustrating basketball play at UGA when he wrote:
The past is never dead. It's not even past. All of us labor in webs spun long before we were born, webs of heredity and environment, of desire and consequence, of history and eternity. Haunted by wrong turns and roads not taken, we pursue images perceived as new but whose providence dates to the dim dramas of childhood, which are themselves but ripples of consequence echoing down the generations.
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