I wish I was politically correct in Dixie
by Lewis Grizzard
I certainly agree with all those who have protested the playing of "Dixie" at Southern football games.
Although
slavery isn't mentioned in the song, it still makes people think of the
Old South, where every white person owned African Slaves.
"Dixie"
is definitely a politically incorrect piece of music. Even the word is
offensive to some, and I apologize to those who are offended by my use
of it.
But I'm proud to say my
alma mater, the University of Georgia, years ago rid itself of any
connection with the song or there word you-know-what (see, I didn't use
the word this time, as I despise offending people).
The
Georgia band used to play the song at football games. But not anymore.
The only place they still play the song is at the University of
Mississippi. They also wave Confederate flags and they allow prayer
before a football game.
I'm not
certain how long it will be before members of the Speech Police move in
and shut down such reprehensible behavior, but it could be any day now.
Georgia
not only stopped playing the song, it even changed the name of the
band, formerly knows at the Dixie Redcoat Band. It became simply the
Redcoat Band.
That prompted my
stepbrother, Ludlow Porch, the famous radio talk show personality, to
fire off a letter to the editor suggesting the following: "I applaud the
dropping of 'Dixie' from the name of the University of Georgia band,
but let us not stop there.
"How can we allow the word 'red,' which stands for communism? And the word
'redcoat'
itself is an affront to the memory of all those Americans who fought
against the redcoats of England in the Revolutionary War.
"And
'band.' Poncho Villa had a 'band' of desperadoes and we had to send
brave young soldiers into Mexico after him. So 'band' should go, too,
and that just leaves 'The,' which is a dumb name for a large number of
musicians, so I guess they're just out of a name altogether."
I
believe if we really try we can wipe away all symbols of the Old South
forever. There's a company in Savannah that makes Dixie Crystal Sugar.
Sorry, it's just Crystal Sugar from now on, and don't give me any grief
about it.
And there's even a
Dixie Highway in the South. It should be referred to from now on only as
Highway. As in, "Well, you take Highway, then go down three blocks
and " There are even some people named Dixie, believe it or not. They
will have to go by their middle names. And if anybody named Dixie lives
on Dixie Highway, the Speech Police will likely demand they be shot.
And
if the song and word "Dixie" are symbolic of the Old South, I guess we
ought to stop using "Old South" as well. Instead of saying "Old South"
perhaps we can refer to it as "Back Then," and we can roll our eyes when
we use it so everybody will know we aren't talking about when dinosaurs
roamed the Earth, but when slaveholders used to go around singing songs
like "Dixie" and "Eating Goober Peas."
But wait. "Eating Goober Peas" is a song from Back Then, too, so don't anybody dare play that at a football game.
Rap songs about killing innocent people, incidentally, are just fine.
by Lewis Grizzard
I certainly agree with all those who have protested the playing of "Dixie" at Southern football games.
Although
slavery isn't mentioned in the song, it still makes people think of the
Old South, where every white person owned African Slaves.
"Dixie"
is definitely a politically incorrect piece of music. Even the word is
offensive to some, and I apologize to those who are offended by my use
of it.
But I'm proud to say my
alma mater, the University of Georgia, years ago rid itself of any
connection with the song or there word you-know-what (see, I didn't use
the word this time, as I despise offending people).
The
Georgia band used to play the song at football games. But not anymore.
The only place they still play the song is at the University of
Mississippi. They also wave Confederate flags and they allow prayer
before a football game.
I'm not
certain how long it will be before members of the Speech Police move in
and shut down such reprehensible behavior, but it could be any day now.
Georgia
not only stopped playing the song, it even changed the name of the
band, formerly knows at the Dixie Redcoat Band. It became simply the
Redcoat Band.
That prompted my
stepbrother, Ludlow Porch, the famous radio talk show personality, to
fire off a letter to the editor suggesting the following: "I applaud the
dropping of 'Dixie' from the name of the University of Georgia band,
but let us not stop there.
"How can we allow the word 'red,' which stands for communism? And the word
'redcoat'
itself is an affront to the memory of all those Americans who fought
against the redcoats of England in the Revolutionary War.
"And
'band.' Poncho Villa had a 'band' of desperadoes and we had to send
brave young soldiers into Mexico after him. So 'band' should go, too,
and that just leaves 'The,' which is a dumb name for a large number of
musicians, so I guess they're just out of a name altogether."
I
believe if we really try we can wipe away all symbols of the Old South
forever. There's a company in Savannah that makes Dixie Crystal Sugar.
Sorry, it's just Crystal Sugar from now on, and don't give me any grief
about it.
And there's even a
Dixie Highway in the South. It should be referred to from now on only as
Highway. As in, "Well, you take Highway, then go down three blocks
and " There are even some people named Dixie, believe it or not. They
will have to go by their middle names. And if anybody named Dixie lives
on Dixie Highway, the Speech Police will likely demand they be shot.
And
if the song and word "Dixie" are symbolic of the Old South, I guess we
ought to stop using "Old South" as well. Instead of saying "Old South"
perhaps we can refer to it as "Back Then," and we can roll our eyes when
we use it so everybody will know we aren't talking about when dinosaurs
roamed the Earth, but when slaveholders used to go around singing songs
like "Dixie" and "Eating Goober Peas."
But wait. "Eating Goober Peas" is a song from Back Then, too, so don't anybody dare play that at a football game.
Rap songs about killing innocent people, incidentally, are just fine.
