This is how the new AJC Dawgs page (over all, an honorable attempt at improvement) would go, if web pages were parties.
You, the Dawg fan, get an invitation in the mail. AJC is having a big party for the game. "Oh, no, no way," you tell your buddies. "Not going to watch with those guys. I always leave after a few plays. Those AJC guys are just obnoxious. Why would I want to watch the game with folks who snicker about everything, and are the first to text you when something bad happens to the team?"
But your best buddy says, "I don't know. I say we give 'em another chance. Last few seasons, it's gotten to where nobody goes to their place, and they feel really bad about it. I hear they're trying hard to make it up to us. They've redecorated, got some new talent."
So you say, "Well, okay. If you say so." You go over there for the game, and they're right. It's much better. There's this guy Seth and he seems to know his stuff. Doesn't try to show how smart he is, just gives you good insight about the game. And there are some new kids working on covering recruiting and that kind of thing. They've decorated the place. Looks nice. Maybe the AJC is going to start having good parties for the first time since the Dooley years.
Then one of the hosts glances out the window and says, "Hey, here comes the life of the party! You've probably met him before. He's a stitch! One funny line after another until I wet myself! You'll LOVE this guy!"
And the door opens, and in walks Jeff Schultz. "Hey losers!" says Schultz. "Are the 'trembling chihuahuas' on yet? Ha, ha, that's what I call 'em. The 'trembling chihuahuas.' Hey, have you seen how much Mark Richt looks like actress Helen Hunt? I brought two pictures, "separated at birth," you know? Ha, ha! Hey, would some of you dawgy-wawgs help me roll in my big blackboard? It has all my weekend picks, and I call EVERY TEAM a wacky and insulting name! Fans LOVE reading insults of their own team. Listen, I got an app on my phone that plays Pruitt talking to the media. Ha, ha! It's just a farting app! See what I did there?"
Incredulous, you look over at the other AJC guys. They're crying, they're laughing so hard. "Ain't this guy a laff riot? He ain't right!" One of them is actually slapping his knee, and yes, there's a lot of pee on the carpet. You notice people are beginning to file out the door.
"Wait!" yells Schultz. "I've got some MEMES. Have you ever heard of those? Spankin' new Intra-net humor and HI-LARIOUS! Where's everybody going?"
"I don't get it," shrugs an AJC editor. "These Georgia fans never stay past the first quarter. Just crummy fans I guess. We'll NEVER get Terence Moore to come back if we can't do better than this."
You, the Dawg fan, get an invitation in the mail. AJC is having a big party for the game. "Oh, no, no way," you tell your buddies. "Not going to watch with those guys. I always leave after a few plays. Those AJC guys are just obnoxious. Why would I want to watch the game with folks who snicker about everything, and are the first to text you when something bad happens to the team?"
But your best buddy says, "I don't know. I say we give 'em another chance. Last few seasons, it's gotten to where nobody goes to their place, and they feel really bad about it. I hear they're trying hard to make it up to us. They've redecorated, got some new talent."
So you say, "Well, okay. If you say so." You go over there for the game, and they're right. It's much better. There's this guy Seth and he seems to know his stuff. Doesn't try to show how smart he is, just gives you good insight about the game. And there are some new kids working on covering recruiting and that kind of thing. They've decorated the place. Looks nice. Maybe the AJC is going to start having good parties for the first time since the Dooley years.
Then one of the hosts glances out the window and says, "Hey, here comes the life of the party! You've probably met him before. He's a stitch! One funny line after another until I wet myself! You'll LOVE this guy!"
And the door opens, and in walks Jeff Schultz. "Hey losers!" says Schultz. "Are the 'trembling chihuahuas' on yet? Ha, ha, that's what I call 'em. The 'trembling chihuahuas.' Hey, have you seen how much Mark Richt looks like actress Helen Hunt? I brought two pictures, "separated at birth," you know? Ha, ha! Hey, would some of you dawgy-wawgs help me roll in my big blackboard? It has all my weekend picks, and I call EVERY TEAM a wacky and insulting name! Fans LOVE reading insults of their own team. Listen, I got an app on my phone that plays Pruitt talking to the media. Ha, ha! It's just a farting app! See what I did there?"
Incredulous, you look over at the other AJC guys. They're crying, they're laughing so hard. "Ain't this guy a laff riot? He ain't right!" One of them is actually slapping his knee, and yes, there's a lot of pee on the carpet. You notice people are beginning to file out the door.
"Wait!" yells Schultz. "I've got some MEMES. Have you ever heard of those? Spankin' new Intra-net humor and HI-LARIOUS! Where's everybody going?"
"I don't get it," shrugs an AJC editor. "These Georgia fans never stay past the first quarter. Just crummy fans I guess. We'll NEVER get Terence Moore to come back if we can't do better than this."
