Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Vent,
Nerves remain frazzled, emotions all spent
The beer was all drunk, empty bottles lie there
From folks still upset that Kirby’s not here
The venters were gathered, but nothing was heard
Are assistants still coming,? Damn, Dash what’s the word?
And Radi in his pajamas and Jake with his cat
Had just settled down thinking, shoot Chaney is fat
When on my phone, there appeared a big blotter;
Hey, there’s an airplane to Raleigh, there’s some Dawgvent fodder!
So away to the bedroom where the PC does stay,
Hit the on button and waited, why does this take all day?
A warm night it was, dang all this rain;
Coaching searches on Christmas, that’s the ultimate pain
Then, what did my wondering eyes did appear,
Was an airplane to Pittsburgh, to Raleigh, oh dear
With a man dressed in red (shoot these beans make me fart),
Hell, it is, damn right, Kirby Smart!
More rapid than cheetahs, that plane she a-flew
Was he looking for coaches, what else would he do?
“On Chaney, on Pittman, we got Rocker and Sherrer."
But damn, no one else? That’s really a terror!
To the top of the Butts-Mehre, Kirby pick up the phone
Fans yell we need more assistants, Coach get the job done!
As thunderstorms delay the IPF ground breaking,
Some fans obviously wonder is McGarity shaking?
So back to Tuscaloosa, Kirby did fly,
Causing more fans to grumble he’s got other fish to fry
But then, out of nowhere, a cell phone did jingle;
Kirby’s making some calls, he’s even bi-lingual
As I turned off the computer and headed for bed,
I get word that Kirby, is racking his head
His eyes, they’re a sagging, but he’s in the game
Making calls, working deals, folks, there ain’t no shame
He promised no timetable, but the job would get done
There will coaches aplenty, don’t worry, son.
The phone, how it crackled, reception wasn’t blurry
Yes, it’s Tuscaloosa, but his words, they do carry
His pounded his table, “aight guys, let’s do it”
How much must I say, I didn’t want Pruitt!”
A long list of names, he had written in pen
“Guys, I’m on it, no worries, must I say this again?”
He’s got a round face, and some blond hair,
But don’t piss him off, he’ll become Ric Flair
Kirby’s got a plan, that I can promise,
It will all come out soon, just have to hold-onus
A wink of his eye, and a nod of his head,
Should let Venters know they’ve got nothing to dread
Kirby uttered no words, but kept to his work,
He’s been lining up coaches, no reason to smirk
The deals will be done, there’s no need to worry,
It’s the dead period, folks, no reason to scurry
So, Kirby will be here, it won’t be too long,
He’ll help the Tide finish, then they’re sing their own song
But I heard him exclaim, “Guys, it’s OK.”
“I’m a Dawg, gotta trust me, now have a great day!”
Nerves remain frazzled, emotions all spent
The beer was all drunk, empty bottles lie there
From folks still upset that Kirby’s not here
The venters were gathered, but nothing was heard
Are assistants still coming,? Damn, Dash what’s the word?
And Radi in his pajamas and Jake with his cat
Had just settled down thinking, shoot Chaney is fat
When on my phone, there appeared a big blotter;
Hey, there’s an airplane to Raleigh, there’s some Dawgvent fodder!
So away to the bedroom where the PC does stay,
Hit the on button and waited, why does this take all day?
A warm night it was, dang all this rain;
Coaching searches on Christmas, that’s the ultimate pain
Then, what did my wondering eyes did appear,
Was an airplane to Pittsburgh, to Raleigh, oh dear
With a man dressed in red (shoot these beans make me fart),
Hell, it is, damn right, Kirby Smart!
More rapid than cheetahs, that plane she a-flew
Was he looking for coaches, what else would he do?
“On Chaney, on Pittman, we got Rocker and Sherrer."
But damn, no one else? That’s really a terror!
To the top of the Butts-Mehre, Kirby pick up the phone
Fans yell we need more assistants, Coach get the job done!
As thunderstorms delay the IPF ground breaking,
Some fans obviously wonder is McGarity shaking?
So back to Tuscaloosa, Kirby did fly,
Causing more fans to grumble he’s got other fish to fry
But then, out of nowhere, a cell phone did jingle;
Kirby’s making some calls, he’s even bi-lingual
As I turned off the computer and headed for bed,
I get word that Kirby, is racking his head
His eyes, they’re a sagging, but he’s in the game
Making calls, working deals, folks, there ain’t no shame
He promised no timetable, but the job would get done
There will coaches aplenty, don’t worry, son.
The phone, how it crackled, reception wasn’t blurry
Yes, it’s Tuscaloosa, but his words, they do carry
His pounded his table, “aight guys, let’s do it”
How much must I say, I didn’t want Pruitt!”
A long list of names, he had written in pen
“Guys, I’m on it, no worries, must I say this again?”
He’s got a round face, and some blond hair,
But don’t piss him off, he’ll become Ric Flair
Kirby’s got a plan, that I can promise,
It will all come out soon, just have to hold-onus
A wink of his eye, and a nod of his head,
Should let Venters know they’ve got nothing to dread
Kirby uttered no words, but kept to his work,
He’s been lining up coaches, no reason to smirk
The deals will be done, there’s no need to worry,
It’s the dead period, folks, no reason to scurry
So, Kirby will be here, it won’t be too long,
He’ll help the Tide finish, then they’re sing their own song
But I heard him exclaim, “Guys, it’s OK.”
“I’m a Dawg, gotta trust me, now have a great day!”
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