A lighthearted post about family gatherings and communication between husbands and wives.

[poorpreacher]

I'm sure many families got together, this past weekend, to celebrate Easter. And I'm sure there were probably some arguments between families, particularly husbands and wives. I don't know about everyone else, but my wife and I used to fight over how long it takes to leave.

For me, the party leaving process looks like this: I stand up and say, "Well, I better be heading home. Thank you so much for inviting me, I enjoyed it very much". Then I ...well...leave.

Then I got married.

We would go to an event, hosted by her side of the family. After being there 9 hours, with nothing to eat but watercress sandwiches, and cashew nuts, I'm starving and ready to go.

Me: " Well, honey, we better be heading home".
My Wife: "I know. I'm about to be ready to leave". (whatever that means)


30 minuets later:

Me: "Babe, I thought you were about ready"
Her brushing me away impatiently: "I am! Just give me about 5 more minuets!"

20 minuets later:
Her: "Ok I'm ready. Let me take one second to say goodbye to everybody, before we go".


20 min. later:
Her: "Look, I'm about ready, but Aunt Jane wants take some quick pictures of all the cousins, while we are all here. It will only take a second."

15 min. later, as my wife is hugging everyone again:
Aunt Jane to my wife: "Right quick, before you go. Tell me what you think of the new curtains in our bedroom. It will only take 2 seconds."

Of they go....

25 min. later
I find my wife with Aunt Jane.....And they are, apparently, reorganizing Jane's bedroom closet.
Me: "What are you doing"
Wife: "Getting some stuff laid out for Aunt Jane's yard sale next month"
And then my head explodes.


Some advice about family gatherings:
1. Unless you are certain about the food, eat early, and take backup, just in case.
2. Find a comfortable seat and wait, until she is walking out the door, before you get up to leave.

Trying to get your wife out the door is pointless. She isn't going anywhere, until she is good and ready. When/If she says, "I'm about to be ready" or "Just 5 more minuets and we will leave", don't fall for it. Its a trick ....a trap.....designed to pacify you, so she can have maximum hen party time.

Find a seat and eat some crackers young man. You aren't going anywhere.

 

[9836dawg]

I'm sure many families got together, this past weekend, to celebrate Easter. And I'm sure there were probably some arguments between families, particularly husbands and wives. I don't know about everyone else, but my wife and I used to fight over how long it takes to leave.

For me, the party leaving process looks like this: I stand up and say, "Well, I better be heading home. Thank you so much for inviting me, I enjoyed it very much". Then I ...well...leave.

Then I got married.

We would go to an event, hosted by her side of the family. After being there 9 hours, with nothing to eat but watercress sandwiches, and cashew nuts, I'm starving and ready to go.

Me: " Well, honey, we better be heading home".
My Wife: "I know. I'm about to be ready to leave". (whatever that means)


30 minuets later:

Me: "Babe, I thought you were about ready"
Her brushing me away impatiently: "I am! Just give me about 5 more minuets!"

20 minuets later:
Her: "Ok I'm ready. Let me take one second to say goodbye to everybody, before we go".


20 min. later:
Her: "Look, I'm about ready, but Aunt Jane wants take some quick pictures of all the cousins, while we are all here. It will only take a second."

15 min. later, as my wife is hugging everyone again:
Aunt Jane to my wife: "Right quick, before you go. Tell me what you think of the new curtains in our bedroom. It will only take 2 seconds."

Of they go....

25 min. later
I find my wife with Aunt Jane.....And they are, apparently, reorganizing Jane's bedroom closet.
Me: "What are you doing"
Wife: "Getting some stuff laid out for Aunt Jane's yard sale next month"
And then my head explodes.


Some advice about family gatherings:
1. Unless you are certain about the food, eat early, and take backup, just in case.
2. Find a comfortable seat and wait, until she is walking out the door, before you get up to leave.

Trying to get your wife out the door is pointless. She isn't going anywhere, until she is good and ready. When/If she says, "I'm about to be ready" or "Just 5 more minuets and we will leave", don't fall for it. Its a trick ....a trap.....designed to pacify you, so she can have maximum hen party time.

Find a seat and eat some crackers young man. You aren't going anywhere.

It's as if you were at my in-laws house. I never knew just trying to leave a place could be so difficult. I can't even count how many times I've been through it.

 

[Dawg 'n IT]

To all the young single guys out there, don't put a ring on it without confirming the family's culinary talents. No, I'm not saying meet the entire extended family while dating, but you should meet the parents and/or any close in proximity relative at some point during the courting period.

An essential conversation during this meeting is holiday traditions of the family.

What are the "can't miss" traditional holiday gatherings and where is the gathering location?

Who brings what and how good are the eats?

Who are the crazies to be mindful of as to avoid family drama?

At some point you might even be invited to one of these gatherings where you can assess the situation in person.

Please men, do your due diligence and make a plan before entering into wedlock! Or else you too may find yourself hungry and irritated on Easter Sunday.

 

[SenatorBlutarsky]

I'm sure many families got together, this past weekend, to celebrate Easter. And I'm sure there were probably some arguments between families, particularly husbands and wives. I don't know about everyone else, but my wife and I used to fight over how long it takes to leave.

For me, the party leaving process looks like this: I stand up and say, "Well, I better be heading home. Thank you so much for inviting me, I enjoyed it very much". Then I ...well...leave.

Then I got married.

We would go to an event, hosted by her side of the family. After being there 9 hours, with nothing to eat but watercress sandwiches, and cashew nuts, I'm starving and ready to go.

Me: " Well, honey, we better be heading home".
My Wife: "I know. I'm about to be ready to leave". (whatever that means)


30 minuets later:

Me: "Babe, I thought you were about ready"
Her brushing me away impatiently: "I am! Just give me about 5 more minuets!"

20 minuets later:
Her: "Ok I'm ready. Let me take one second to say goodbye to everybody, before we go".


20 min. later:
Her: "Look, I'm about ready, but Aunt Jane wants take some quick pictures of all the cousins, while we are all here. It will only take a second."

15 min. later, as my wife is hugging everyone again:
Aunt Jane to my wife: "Right quick, before you go. Tell me what you think of the new curtains in our bedroom. It will only take 2 seconds."

Of they go....

25 min. later
I find my wife with Aunt Jane.....And they are, apparently, reorganizing Jane's bedroom closet.
Me: "What are you doing"
Wife: "Getting some stuff laid out for Aunt Jane's yard sale next month"
And then my head explodes.


Some advice about family gatherings:
1. Unless you are certain about the food, eat early, and take backup, just in case.
2. Find a comfortable seat and wait, until she is walking out the door, before you get up to leave.

Trying to get your wife out the door is pointless. She isn't going anywhere, until she is good and ready. When/If she says, "I'm about to be ready" or "Just 5 more minuets and we will leave", don't fall for it. Its a trick ....a trap.....designed to pacify you, so she can have maximum hen party time.

Find a seat and eat some crackers young man. You aren't going anywhere.

This is precisely why husbands usually die before the wives - because they want to!

 

[poorpreacher]

To all the young single guys out there, don't put a ring on it without confirming the family's culinary talents. No, I'm not saying meet the entire extended family while dating, but you should meet the parents and/or any close in proximity relative at some point during the courting period.

An essential conversation during this meeting is holiday traditions of the family.

What are the "can't miss" traditional holiday gatherings and where is the gathering location?

Who brings what and how good are the eats?

Who are the crazies to be mindful of as to avoid family drama?

At some point you might even be invited to one of these gatherings where you can assess the situation in person.

Please men, do your due diligence and make a plan before entering into wedlock! Or else you too may find yourself hungry and irritated on Easter Sunday.

Solid advice.

Another thing, or maybe an addition to my OP: Accept the fact NOW that women speak another language than men.


"Leaving now" for a man = walking out the door
"Leaving now" for woman = I'm somewhere in the process

For example, I call my wife: "Babe what time are you coming to the church?"

Her: "I'm leaving now, I just gotta finish my hair"

Me: "Well, then you aren't 'leaving now', are you? Which brings me back to the reason I called.....

Her: "Why do you have to be such a butthole? (Yes the preacher's wife says "butthole")

Me: "I'm JUST trying to find out when you will be here!"

Her: "Well, if you weren't making me late, I probably would be there"

Now what am I supposed to do with THAT? How a 20 second conversation makes her 20 minutes late is beyond me.

That kind logic will almost make a preacher cuss.