TLDR: If you are offended by being called ma’am or sir, get over yourself.
So, my pet peeve for this week is women who decide to feel insulted whenever I address them as “ma’am.” The feminist author of this top-of-site CNN article decided to take up the issue today.
Apparently, according to the author a lot of women believe the term ma’am is disrespectful, and is instead degrading and should only be used when addressing “old” women, if at all. I vehemently disagree.
I am a middle-aged man, and throughout my lifetime I have been “called out” by probably 2 or 3 women who probably feel as this author does. Each time, I didn’t give a crap, and I don’t give a crap now.
First of all, disclosure. I am Southern, was raised in the South since birth, late father was Canadian ex-military (WW2), late mother was a true Southern woman (highly resembled a younger Delta Burke). But throughout my life I have traveled to every US state except Alaska, so I have some US geographic perspective. And I was raised that proper respect is “Yes Sir, No Sir” and “Yes Ma’am, No Ma’am.” I am that kind of guy, and I have raised my son in the same manner.
It is called good manners, and is born out of chivalry from the medieval ages. And it simply means nothing but due respect. I am not changing that social norm now. Not for you, not for anyone.
The author quotes Kelly Elizabeth Wright, experimental sociolinguist and lexicographer at Virginia Tech: “You can’t control how people see you, but you have a right to assert how you’d like to be seen.” Really? Where did this right come from? I don’t recognize it, and I don’t believe that I agree with it. Admittedly, I don’t know exactly what an “experimental sociolinguist” is, but I pray that Ms. Wright uses her platform at Va Tech to teach her class good manners of the written and spoken word.
The author states “Historically, female youth is connected to all kinds of privileged social attributes – beauty, fertility and marriageability. If these attributes represent a subjective peak of femininity, the less young a woman is, the less compelling her social standing.” Look, by calling you ma’am, I’m not attacking or degrading your beauty, fertility or marriageability. I am being nothing but respectful, and snowflakes like you should be grateful. If you have self-image issues from believing that people may think of you as an “old maid” – then do something about it. That is your burden to bear, not mine.
Thankfully, the author does at least throw a bone to the “American South.” Ms. Judy Jefferson has it right, in her skit:
But if you are a young man, and you are “alarmed” by being addressed as sir, get your priorities straight and whatever you do, don’t think for a second that your are going to bring “bro culture” to this party. From the CNN article: “For me, it’s (being called sir) way too formal and I feel like it makes me feel old when someone says that to me. Like I rather someone say ‘hey dude’ or ‘what’s up bro’ than call me ‘sir,’” said one 25-year-old man on Reddit. “It’s my biggest pet peeve.” Hey Jeff Spicoli on Reddit, please tell me you are a surfer dude from Cali. Only then would it make sense.
Lewis Grizzard would roll over in his grave over this ill-mannered outrage over the use of sir and ma’am.
Just had to get this “vent” in, on the Vent. Next week’s pet peeve will address those waitresses and waiters who invite themselves to sit down next to you at your table or booth to take your order.
Until then, Go Dawgs!
So, my pet peeve for this week is women who decide to feel insulted whenever I address them as “ma’am.” The feminist author of this top-of-site CNN article decided to take up the issue today.
Apparently, according to the author a lot of women believe the term ma’am is disrespectful, and is instead degrading and should only be used when addressing “old” women, if at all. I vehemently disagree.
I am a middle-aged man, and throughout my lifetime I have been “called out” by probably 2 or 3 women who probably feel as this author does. Each time, I didn’t give a crap, and I don’t give a crap now.
First of all, disclosure. I am Southern, was raised in the South since birth, late father was Canadian ex-military (WW2), late mother was a true Southern woman (highly resembled a younger Delta Burke). But throughout my life I have traveled to every US state except Alaska, so I have some US geographic perspective. And I was raised that proper respect is “Yes Sir, No Sir” and “Yes Ma’am, No Ma’am.” I am that kind of guy, and I have raised my son in the same manner.
It is called good manners, and is born out of chivalry from the medieval ages. And it simply means nothing but due respect. I am not changing that social norm now. Not for you, not for anyone.
The author quotes Kelly Elizabeth Wright, experimental sociolinguist and lexicographer at Virginia Tech: “You can’t control how people see you, but you have a right to assert how you’d like to be seen.” Really? Where did this right come from? I don’t recognize it, and I don’t believe that I agree with it. Admittedly, I don’t know exactly what an “experimental sociolinguist” is, but I pray that Ms. Wright uses her platform at Va Tech to teach her class good manners of the written and spoken word.
The author states “Historically, female youth is connected to all kinds of privileged social attributes – beauty, fertility and marriageability. If these attributes represent a subjective peak of femininity, the less young a woman is, the less compelling her social standing.” Look, by calling you ma’am, I’m not attacking or degrading your beauty, fertility or marriageability. I am being nothing but respectful, and snowflakes like you should be grateful. If you have self-image issues from believing that people may think of you as an “old maid” – then do something about it. That is your burden to bear, not mine.
Thankfully, the author does at least throw a bone to the “American South.” Ms. Judy Jefferson has it right, in her skit:
But if you are a young man, and you are “alarmed” by being addressed as sir, get your priorities straight and whatever you do, don’t think for a second that your are going to bring “bro culture” to this party. From the CNN article: “For me, it’s (being called sir) way too formal and I feel like it makes me feel old when someone says that to me. Like I rather someone say ‘hey dude’ or ‘what’s up bro’ than call me ‘sir,’” said one 25-year-old man on Reddit. “It’s my biggest pet peeve.” Hey Jeff Spicoli on Reddit, please tell me you are a surfer dude from Cali. Only then would it make sense.
Lewis Grizzard would roll over in his grave over this ill-mannered outrage over the use of sir and ma’am.
Just had to get this “vent” in, on the Vent. Next week’s pet peeve will address those waitresses and waiters who invite themselves to sit down next to you at your table or booth to take your order.
Until then, Go Dawgs!
