1.
Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2.
Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to
the least accessible place in the universe.
3.
Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4.
Law of Random Numbers - If you accidentally dial a wrong number, you
never get a busy signal; someone will always answer.
5.
Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were
in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6.
Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
will ring.
7.
Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know
INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen
with.
8.
Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
work, IT WILL!!!
9.
Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the reach.
10.
Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose
seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who
will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who
leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in
the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big
bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are
very surly folk.
11.
The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is
cold.
12.
Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
13.
Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich
landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of
the carpet or rug.
14.
Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you
are talking about.
15.
Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're
ugly.
16.
Law of Public Speaking - A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!
17.
Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that
you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling
it!
18.
Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the
doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. However, if you don't
make an appointment, you'll stay sick.
Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2.
Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to
the least accessible place in the universe.
3.
Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4.
Law of Random Numbers - If you accidentally dial a wrong number, you
never get a busy signal; someone will always answer.
5.
Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were
in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6.
Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
will ring.
7.
Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know
INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen
with.
8.
Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
work, IT WILL!!!
9.
Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the reach.
10.
Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose
seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who
will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who
leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in
the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big
bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are
very surly folk.
11.
The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is
cold.
12.
Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
13.
Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich
landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of
the carpet or rug.
14.
Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you
are talking about.
15.
Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're
ugly.
16.
Law of Public Speaking - A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!
17.
Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that
you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling
it!
18.
Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the
doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. However, if you don't
make an appointment, you'll stay sick.
