Hard to know how to handle this. For the first time since preseason 1981, we have nobody on the annual Revenge List.
I go into every season with the understanding that offenses against the universe need to be righted. We don't let things slide where I come from. This is the South. Fergit? Hell! So, the season is traditionally about hitting somebody back, and making it hurt. This was especially true during those years—surely you remember them—when we weren't any real threat to win any actual hardware that might go on a shelf. Alabama or Florida was going to win the league. National? Yeah, sure. Good one. Eight, nine wins, THEN a lofty ten wins under Richt, was a realistic expectation. Usually you'd be watching CBS like everybody else first week in December (for twenty years we did that!) but at least you beat Auburn. Or Tennessee. Or Tech. No trophies for that, but bragging rights among the also-rans. You take what you can get. Maybe the planets align next year and you even beat Florida. That was your life. That was mine. That sh!t is over.
As recently as pre-2017, the annual Revenge List included the likes of Vanderbilt and Georgia Tech. Tennessee was on there! Butch Jones Tennessee! Florida? They owned extensive real estate on the Revenge List. The others were squatters, but Florida had its own zip code and congressional representative on our Revenge List. Pre-2018 season, Vandy and Tech were cleared out, Tennessee's shack was fumigated and torn down, and it was just Bama who barely made the list. Since then, we've had teams come and go, but we knew we needed to do something about Bama. DONE.
This year, the list is EMPTY. Kind of lonely, actually. I still hate all the right people, but I lack that adrenaline I get when somebody has just slapped me down. You know, like Chris Rock feels.
There's still the problem of the hit-and-runs. Those are the teams that you get no opportunity to punch back. Texas is on that list right now. TEXAS. So is LSU. We owe LSU double.
But we can't worry about that. My approach to this year is, I'm saying we still owe Florida. We won but they didn't get our best game. I'm angry at those beach yankees for daring not to get our best game. I wouldn't take anything for those last two minutes of the first half, but I really want to match the 75-0 beatdown of 1942. Or the 51-0 emasculation of 1968. They have a new coach, and he needs a strong lesson on how it is.
Also, Tennessee is getting kind of uppity. Their usual delusions of adequacy. 7-6 is heady stuff in Knoxville, and they're throwing around NIL money off Pappy's still and L'il Abner's meth lab.
I'll get myself worked up over these teams and more. But the Revenge List? Empty. I'm thinking we should keep it that way.
I go into every season with the understanding that offenses against the universe need to be righted. We don't let things slide where I come from. This is the South. Fergit? Hell! So, the season is traditionally about hitting somebody back, and making it hurt. This was especially true during those years—surely you remember them—when we weren't any real threat to win any actual hardware that might go on a shelf. Alabama or Florida was going to win the league. National? Yeah, sure. Good one. Eight, nine wins, THEN a lofty ten wins under Richt, was a realistic expectation. Usually you'd be watching CBS like everybody else first week in December (for twenty years we did that!) but at least you beat Auburn. Or Tennessee. Or Tech. No trophies for that, but bragging rights among the also-rans. You take what you can get. Maybe the planets align next year and you even beat Florida. That was your life. That was mine. That sh!t is over.
As recently as pre-2017, the annual Revenge List included the likes of Vanderbilt and Georgia Tech. Tennessee was on there! Butch Jones Tennessee! Florida? They owned extensive real estate on the Revenge List. The others were squatters, but Florida had its own zip code and congressional representative on our Revenge List. Pre-2018 season, Vandy and Tech were cleared out, Tennessee's shack was fumigated and torn down, and it was just Bama who barely made the list. Since then, we've had teams come and go, but we knew we needed to do something about Bama. DONE.
This year, the list is EMPTY. Kind of lonely, actually. I still hate all the right people, but I lack that adrenaline I get when somebody has just slapped me down. You know, like Chris Rock feels.
There's still the problem of the hit-and-runs. Those are the teams that you get no opportunity to punch back. Texas is on that list right now. TEXAS. So is LSU. We owe LSU double.
But we can't worry about that. My approach to this year is, I'm saying we still owe Florida. We won but they didn't get our best game. I'm angry at those beach yankees for daring not to get our best game. I wouldn't take anything for those last two minutes of the first half, but I really want to match the 75-0 beatdown of 1942. Or the 51-0 emasculation of 1968. They have a new coach, and he needs a strong lesson on how it is.
Also, Tennessee is getting kind of uppity. Their usual delusions of adequacy. 7-6 is heady stuff in Knoxville, and they're throwing around NIL money off Pappy's still and L'il Abner's meth lab.
I'll get myself worked up over these teams and more. But the Revenge List? Empty. I'm thinking we should keep it that way.
