Over the past year a rash of news stories surfaced
speculating whether gold-medal winning Olympic decathlete Bruce Jenner
was undergoing a gender transition from male to female. Though Jenner
has yet to publicly confirm the story, members of his extended family,
including the Kardashian clan, have recently approached various news
outlets confirming Jenner's intentions.
Now it appears a number of world leaders have picked up on the story
and are wondering aloud "What will happen to Jenner's balls if he
completes the transition?" Sources this week quoted Israeli Prime
Minister Bibi Netanyahu as suggesting it would be a monumental step if
Jenner were to donate his balls to U.S. President Barack Obama.
Netanyahu stated "Everyone knows Obama has no balls and it would be
damn nice if he suddenly had Olympic sized balls. It would be a huge
step forward for world peace."
German Chancellor Angela Merkel remarked " I don't even have any
balls, but everyone tells me I have a bigger set than Obama. I think
it would be a great idea."
On the other hand, Russian President Vladimir Putin joined Syrian
President Bashar Assad in proclaiming that Obama's lack of balls has
finally enabled a number of regimes worldwide a fair chance to
consolidate their power. Putin, on a shirtless fly fishing expedition
in Kanchatka, said "The days of U.S. Presidents with big balls like
Reagan are over. Now it's our turn."
Iranian President Hassan Rouhani remarked earlier in the week that
"It's been great the last six years. It's like playing soccer against
the U.S. with no goalie in their net."
While world leaders debate the issue, closer to home New England
Patriots coach Bill Belichick and Super Bowl MVP quarterback Tom Brady
stepped forward to say they would each donate one ball to the
President if Jenner does not come through. Belichick, however,
cautioned that "The President would have to understand, our balls
would be underinflated, but still probably an improvement over what he
seems to be working with."[/QUOTE][/QUOTE][/QUOTE]
speculating whether gold-medal winning Olympic decathlete Bruce Jenner
was undergoing a gender transition from male to female. Though Jenner
has yet to publicly confirm the story, members of his extended family,
including the Kardashian clan, have recently approached various news
outlets confirming Jenner's intentions.
Now it appears a number of world leaders have picked up on the story
and are wondering aloud "What will happen to Jenner's balls if he
completes the transition?" Sources this week quoted Israeli Prime
Minister Bibi Netanyahu as suggesting it would be a monumental step if
Jenner were to donate his balls to U.S. President Barack Obama.
Netanyahu stated "Everyone knows Obama has no balls and it would be
damn nice if he suddenly had Olympic sized balls. It would be a huge
step forward for world peace."
German Chancellor Angela Merkel remarked " I don't even have any
balls, but everyone tells me I have a bigger set than Obama. I think
it would be a great idea."
On the other hand, Russian President Vladimir Putin joined Syrian
President Bashar Assad in proclaiming that Obama's lack of balls has
finally enabled a number of regimes worldwide a fair chance to
consolidate their power. Putin, on a shirtless fly fishing expedition
in Kanchatka, said "The days of U.S. Presidents with big balls like
Reagan are over. Now it's our turn."
Iranian President Hassan Rouhani remarked earlier in the week that
"It's been great the last six years. It's like playing soccer against
the U.S. with no goalie in their net."
While world leaders debate the issue, closer to home New England
Patriots coach Bill Belichick and Super Bowl MVP quarterback Tom Brady
stepped forward to say they would each donate one ball to the
President if Jenner does not come through. Belichick, however,
cautioned that "The President would have to understand, our balls
would be underinflated, but still probably an improvement over what he
seems to be working with."[/QUOTE][/QUOTE][/QUOTE]
