I'm not anti-god so stop the bs. There could be some initiating force in the universe (s) as it appears there well may be. The big Bang is still accepted by some and challenged by other astrophysicists. As for life beginning on earth, I lean towards the theory of panspermia, which basically posits that microbial life came to earth billions of years ago on comets or meteors. But, then, of course, that life had to come from somewhere as well. So back to square one. You know you sound like one of those aboriginals that lived on an island that had never been discovered until a plane finally landed there. Guess what? They couldn't understand science and believed the plane and it's occupants were gods. Just like the Aztecs believed the Spanish were gods...and look what it got them.
Not understanding everything in nature proves there is a divine power that caused it.
I really don't care what someone believes, and if it makes them happy and peaceful all the better, as long as it doesn't lead to them telling me what I can do with my body, in my bedroom, what I can read, or motivates them to want to behead or otherwise punish me for not being a true believer. I could be persuaded to believe if god opened up a large Swiss bank account in my name.
Woody Allen offers some words of comfort " Mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other to total extinction. let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
"And don't worry, eternal nothingness isn't so bad if you happen to be dressed for it".